Two Weddings, One Love

Jona and Henrietta Nabalarua knew very early on that they would spend forever together. They celebrated their love with family and friends not once, but twice, at a ceremony in Auckland and then in Suva, Fiji. Both ceremonies, vastly different in protocols, brought two beautiful cultures and families together. 

Jona was considered a bachelor at 26 and his parents Diba and Roko were very excited to start planning the wedding in Suva, Fiji. For Henrietta’s parents, their engagement after three months came as a surprise, but ultimately both families were extremely happy and supportive of the couple.

Hosted by Jona’s family, the ceremony in Fiji took place over three days. For the Adams family, this would be their first ever authentic experience in Fiji, seeing first hand how a traditional Fijian ceremony is carried out. The first day saw Jona’s family bring food and gifts to his parents’ home. The second day followed suit, this time, his mother’s side presenting more celebratory offerings. 

Speaking about the final day of the proceedings, Henrietta says “Our wedding began with a service that was administered by Jona’s family minister or pastor, then it was followed by the ‘ai tatau.’ The ai tatau was a traditional process of handing me over to Jona and his family, for them to take care of and look after me for the rest of my married life with Jona."

Henrietta's father, Matthew Adams, spoke on behalf of his family, followed by Jona's uncle, who delivered the traditional protocol in Fijian on their behalf. Following this was an exchange of a tabua (whales tooth) and the 'itevutevu' ceremony, where gifts gathered by Jona's family were given to Henrietta and Jona. 

"After the itevutevu, we ended the celebration by feasting over all the wonderful food that was also gathered over the first two days of our wedding, and was cooked during the final day in the ‘lovo’ ” - Henrietta. 

For the Adams family, the cultural differences between the Auckland and Suva ceremonies were quite apparant. In Suva everyone was seated on the floor, there was no walking down the aisle, vows or a kiss at the end. The marriage traditions in Fiji are centred around community gathering and families being united as one. 

"My family absolutely adored their time in Fiji, everyone worked so hard to make us feel welcome and at home. The Fijians are well known for their warmth and hospitality and we certainly experienced that. My brothers were a bit out of their comfort zone having to speak to so many people (they are quite introverted) but they came out of their shells are were participating in the kava ceremonies and things, including trying new food!" - Henrietta. 

"For my family it was very valuable to see Jona’s culture first hand as it made them appreciate the beauty of Fijian culture and helped them understand why he does certain things the way he does (eg: he always excuses himself if he leaves a room because in Fijian culture the acknowledging of another’s presence is very important)." - Henrietta. 

Jona's family were elated to recieve the Adams family and welcome them to their home in Fiji. "They appreciated the support they got from my wider family. Furthermore, they loved the fact that Henrietta had legitimately (i.e. traditionally) become part of the Nabalarua clan." - Jona. 

Auckland Ceremony

Their Auckland ceremony was held St George’s, the church they both attend and met each other through. 

Jona wore traditional Fijian attire, with masi contributed from both of his parents families. “The masi had two pieces to it which was gifted to me by my Dad’s family, and the masi cloth band I had around my arm represented my mum’s family, who are the ‘Vunivalu’ clan of the chiefly province of Rewa in Fiji.” - Jona.

Jona’s first choice was initially a suit to match Henrietta’s dress, as he knew he would get a chance to wear his traditional attire at the wedding in Suva. With some persuading from his fiancé however, he was honored to represent his culture on their wedding day in Auckland.

“Henrietta wanted me to, she wanted me to express myself to her relatives and friends in the best way that she knew me to be. I was truly honored by it…but more so honored by the fact that Henrietta and I were going to create a new culture of our family.” – Jona.

The church shared laughter at one point when Jona dropped Henrietta’s ring. “Because he was so oiled up with coconut oil, it slipped right through his hands. However, it turned out great in the end, as it broke the ice by making people laugh.” - Henrietta. 

Both ceremonies shared the presence of family and friends and food. The contrast of setting from a church to a home, along with the differences in actions and protocols, each ceremony showcased a unique and unforgettable experience for both families. “I don’t think I have ever seen my parents so elated and my dad actually teared up a couple of times from joy which I don’t think I have ever seen him do".– Henrietta.