ORDINARY TONGAN LIVES - Ngele'ia, Tonga

Story collated and written by Haitelenisia Afemui ‘Uhila Angilau for her 'Ordinary Tongan Lives' facebook page

“In life we expect children to bury their parents, not the other way around. On April 10th, I lost my daughter then I lost my son on May 10th. My daughter gave birth to a child who died at birth. The doctors waited for her to wake up so she could kiss her child goodbye. But she didn’t. I watched her depart on the phone. As soon as her death was confirmed, I was unconscious. Physically, my body couldn’t hold up. I was rushed to the hospital and didn’t wake up until hours later after IV injections. Then I was hospitalized for 2 weeks before I came home.

I was still recovering from that when I was called to the hospital again. This time was for my son Hari. Knowing what happened last time, I didn’t go right away until I felt strong enough. When I saw and kissed him at the hospital on the 9th, I was confident he’ll make it. I prayed he would live. He had two young sons who were counting on him. How will they get on in life? Their mother passed away in 2017. The unfortunate thing is that their father was allegedly killed by another young man.

He’s under police custody now but his father has been trying to reach me since Hari’s death. We finally met. He was genuinely remorseful that my family faced this loss on Mother’s and Father’s Day. He pleaded for God’s mercy to be upon us and asked for forgiveness. And for me, I’m just grateful to God I’m not in his shoes. Or the mother of the young man. I would imagine if my Hari killed somebody, I would feel the depth of their regret and grief. I imagine I’d be hated by people. Nothing good would be said of me. That’s already the case on social media. I imagine my health and morale would decline greatly if we traded places. Perhaps my relatives would distance themselves from me or claim we’re not related.

Thinking that way touched me deeply. I sincerely felt for the family. So when the father came, I told him, ‘I forgive you. I forgive your son. If I were in your shoes right now, I don’t think I would be brave enough. I love you and your son very much.’ God knows, I meant every word. That was truly what’s in my heart.” - Ngele’ia, Tonga

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