CONVERSATIONS WITH TEEN MUMS - KAEL

Auckland filmmaker Juliette Veber began her just-launched website documentary project Conversations with Teen Mums with the aim of challenging the stereotypes of young mums. 

The project began in 2013, when Veber noticed a New York City advertising campaign shaming teen mums. It included slogans like, ‘Because of you mommy, I’m less likely to get a college degree’.

Veber recalls, ‘I found it offensive. I wondered what it would be like to be a pregnant teen or a young mum reading a campaign filled with negative stereotypes and lacking in any kind of hope or encouragement’.

Over four years Veber documented the lives of 16 young mums, sharing their stories, perspectives and experiences in photos, text and film on the website.

‘I looked for subjects who aimed to get off the benefit and into work. Young mums with hopes and dreams, who wanted to offer their children opportunities and choices in life.’

‘The project is not about glamorising teen pregnancy. By depicting the joy and the struggle, I hope this project provides an insight into the young women’s lives, revealing their resilience and determination to succeed for themselves and their children.’

Below is an excerpt from the Conversations with Teen Mums featuring Kael and some of her story.

 See more at www.conversations.co.nz

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KAEL 

When I fell pregnant it was almost as if I literally felt myself becoming dumber. I felt myself fitting into the stereotype because I had already dropped out of school. My mum had always told me people who get pregnant at early ages are stupid. I remember she had even told me that if I ever were to fall pregnant she would be so mad, she would kick me out. She wouldn’t help me at all.  

I begged for my mum every time a contraction came. Surprising as me and my mum don’t normally just plain admit how much we care for each other. Cause she’s a really stubborn woman, so she’s raised me to be really stubborn as well. But I swear when I was in that room I was crying for my mum, every second I begged her to come by my bedside. I would just hold her hand, tell her not to go. I guess in that moment it made me realise how much I appreciate her.  

My partner was just in the corner. His face was pale. It was as if he was going to vomit for me. Then we were just waiting, waiting, endlessly waiting it felt. Then I think it was like 11 o’clock at night. I’d just been wishing for it to be over and suddenly like I get a contraction and then the nurse comes in and she’s like, ‘Okay, you’re ready to push,’ and I was like, ‘Ready? Are you sure?’  And she was like, ‘Yeah’, but then at that moment I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I have to push. I don’t want to push. I’m scared’. I was like, ‘Can we wait? I’m not ready’. They’re like, ‘What do you mean you’re not ready? We’ve been waiting all day!’ 

I blacked out a few times. Was apparently pulling people’s hair and scratching people. But then my son had finally come. As soon as I saw him, just this wave of - I don’t know how to explain it - like a wave of emotion had just come over me. As soon as I saw him. People have talked about love at first sight and I’d never known what that meant until I saw him, you know? And I was like, ‘I love you. I do’. All those feelings of doubt had just disappeared. And at the click of a finger, I turned into mum, you know? I thought that it would be hard transitioning from teenager to mum. But seeing your child, it’s just amazing. 

Read Kaels full story here