Let's start with Tālofa

By Dahlia Malaeulu

As an important part of everyday life, social development and conversational routine, we have all been raised to greet others. On the surface, greetings are ice breakers, mini introductions and conversation starters that usually sets the tone for the dialogue that follows.

Greetings also have another important layer of meaning.

When we greet each other, we in fact acknowledge and welcome another person’s presence. Our Polynesian greetings carry this same deeper meaning in a very holistic way - where we not only acknowledge others’ existence, their being and spirit, but also openly share parts of ourselves and who we are.

For instance, former governor of American Samoa, the Honourable Togiola Tulafono, explained that Tālofa is short for, 'Si o ta alofa atu,' which means, 'I am happy and delighted to give you my love’.

‘Alofa’ or love is at the core of ‘Tālofa’, which is also the official greeting and welcome of Tuvalu and can be found in the Tokelauan greeting of ‘Talofa ni’ as well as ‘Aloha’ in Hawaii.

This essence of ‘Tālofa’ can also be seen amongst other Polynesian greetings as well -
The Maori greeting of ‘Kia ora’, wishes the receiver good health or the essence of life upon them.
The Cook Island greeting of ‘Kia orana’, wishes one to live a long fulfilling life.
The Tongan greeting of ‘Malo e lelei’, gives thanks for the receiver being in good health.
The Niuean greeting of ‘Fakaalofa atu’, means love towards you.

So what do we notice?

Love, care, giving, blessings, support, respect, humbleness, gratitude, warmth, family, bonds, connections - All beautifully wrapped up in a single greeting. One could also say that our Polynesian greetings provide a valuable insight into our cultures by highlighting our Polynesian values that form the foundation of our Polynesian perspectives.

So why are all our greetings mostly used within the safety of our own cultural worlds?

My own personal experiences have shaped my understanding around this and illustrate why so many of our people do not freely use our Polynesian greetings outside of our communities:

Personal Experience #1: The Author’s Visit
‘Hello, can I help you?’, a lady cheerfully says, standing over the counter.

‘Tālofa lava’, I reply with a full smile.

Time stops for a moment, freezing her stunned face and the scene resumes with her reply - ‘Oh yeah, that’.

‘Ah, Tālofa lava. I’m Dahlia Malaeulu, I’m here for the Author’s visit’, I say with a curious and cautious tone this time.

Her bubbly smile returns to her face again as she says, ‘Oh okay - just take a seat please’, pointing to the seating area and then returns to her desk to call someone to collect me.

‘I have Dahlia Ma-loo-loo here for the author’s visit’, I hear as I wait.

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Personal Experience #2: The Student Discussion
‘I know why we don’t say Tālofa Miss … because it’s not really normal’, says student 1.

‘Why do you think it’s not normal?’ I ask.

‘Because it’s only used for like islander stuff and my parents use English all the time - My dad’s crack up Miss, he says, ‘Tālofa lava’, when it’s family on the phone, then he says hello in his Palagi voice if it’s not an islander or if it’s for work he always says g’day mate’, says student 2, this is followed by hysterical group laughter due to full re-enactment.

‘Okay ... so what would make it normal?’, I ask.

All take a moment to think.

‘I think being brought up saying it to each other, even people outside of our culture … and if Palagi people got it Miss then we would aye’, says student 1, turning to other students for confirmation.

Student 3 quickly adds, ‘Yeah if we say Tālofa to them, they’ll know we’re islander and think differently of us’.

‘What do mean - they’ll think differently of us?’ I ask.

‘You know Miss, like not the same or give you weird looks like you don’t speak English or something’, says student 2.

All students nod in agreement with murmurs of support.

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Personal Experience #3: The 5 year old perspective 
‘Mum I don’t want to say Tālofa anymore, I’m just going to say hello’, says my youngest son.

‘Why’s that son?’ I ask curiously.

‘Because it’s easier’, he replies.

‘But remember, when we say Tālofa it lets people know we’re Samoan and we’re sharing our alofa with them’, I say.

He pauses.

‘But when I say Tālofa and share my alofa mum, people don’t want my alofa. They don’t give me alofa back … They look at me funny and they don’t say Tālofa back’, he grumbles.

‘That’s why we have to teach them so they can learn and know about Tālofa’, I say, hoping to mend his broken spirit.

 ‘Tālofa’, provides us with a sense of self and pride in showing and letting others know who we are and what we are. The power of this one word automatically connects us to our Samoan culture and identity. So when ‘others respond with, 'Tālofa lava! You are reciprocating with a full grant of your love and affection’, as further explained by Tulafono. This means a respectful connection can be established and invites our full participation, as ourselves with our views, values and identities intact.

But when our alofa is not given back, as pointed out by my son and highlighted by the personal experiences outlined above, we feel the same way that everybody would feel if you were not greeted at all. Sad and upset. Ignored and not valued. Not included or part of the ‘norm’.

This is why, across generations so many have learned to hide or deny who we are and what we are because our existence, presence and being, are not fully acknowledged from the beginning of many conversations. So how can we ever be full participants in any dialogue when the ‘norm’ forces many of us to leave our cultural spirits at the door upon entering?

Although fear of not being part of the norm confines our Polynesian greetings to our cultural worlds and fear of the unknown causes those outside of our Polynesian communities to retreat to their norm - Tālofa and our Polynesian greetings could be a simple starting point for us all.

If we truly acknowledge and learn to understand the beauty and power of our greetings. If we get used to saying and hearing it through daily use and practise. If we provide the time and space for it for to live and be embedded in our daily routines. Can you imagine the doors that it would open for our spirits to fully connect and the opportunities for rich dialogue to follow?

So when I am asked, as an educator, author and facilitator, by people who are working on becoming more culturally responsive within their learning centre, school or workplace - where do we start?

My response is: Let’s start with Tālofa. A challenge that I want to present to us all.

Let’s actively invite, fully acknowledge and welcome each other’s presence into our conversations.
Let’s proudly share who we are among and outside of our Polynesian communities.
Let’s create awareness by trying, teaching and openly, ‘sharing our alofa’.
Let’s help to create new norms for our tamaiti and the next generation.
Si o ta alofa atu.
Tālofa.