Surviving the Pupenti Season With Your Dignity Intact
Jody Fotuosamoa Jackson
Pupenti Diaries Season 2
Surviving the financial silly season, hopefully NOT on your knees, ladies.
I was reading a report by the Retirement Commission about financial literacy. No, wait. This will get better. Stay with me.
I did this while lying down outside my house on a fala lili’i (mat for sleeping) while trying to get a tan only because as fate would have it, I couldn’t find me a billionaire geriatric husband to fund me a plunge pool in the yard and staff to raise my children while I lounge around. Anyhow, back lying on the mat reading.
I chose the report on financial literacy, out of interest and necessity to stay employable. The report was predictable at first, boring even,… but as I read in, it gave me all the feels, annoyance, concern, depressive thoughts and igoigo towards the end.
In said report, there were findings such as “Ensuring Pacific people have equitable access to financial knowledge and resources can convert into greater financial wellbeing outcomes compared to non-Pacific people”
Well, this is not news, I thought. No one is shocked that Pacific people scored significantly lower on financial wellbeing overall and on meeting commitments and resilience for future, plus other woeful outcomes.
It was not news either that there is a jarring ethnic income pay gap between Pacific people and non-Pacific people, the median weekly income before tax for Pacific people is $669, compared to $770 overall (StatsNZ, 2021).
In addition, another well-known finding being Pacific women earn significantly less than Pacific men ($486 compared to $840 respectively) and the pay gap between Pakeha men and Pacific women is approximately 20.9%. Ouch!
Positive outlook
Unsurprisingly, in the same report, and in a recent one on Māori Pacific lived experiences, Pacific participants reflected positively about their future. I laughed at this one, because this is so very Pacific. Our outlook and worldview will almost always be positive when it comes to reflections and looking ahead.
It reminded me of visiting a remote village after the destructive cyclones in the island of Savaii. An elderly couple stood on a mound of sand and broken coral, in the approximate location of their former home, once surrounded by a lush garden, banana trees and a pig sty.
“How are you doing?” The Red Cross mama asked with her clipboard.
“Manuia lava faafetai I le alofa o le Atua”.
"We are very well thank you, grateful for the blessings” and they then proceed to offer us help and fuss about to find a drinking coconut to share.
Almost every family who have lost everything said this. We are well. Despite the homes wiped out, despite the water that stopped flowing, despite the power outages, despite losing all material things, despite everything. That is what many of our people are like when it comes to outlook in life. Optimistic.
We can be pupenti bad, lose everything but upon reflection, we are a glass half full kind of amazing. This is a wonderful character in many ways but low key delulu and in denial in a palagi therapist kind of way. We just get on with life and make do. The times are tough but we are resilient, we have family, we have culture, we have faith and we have hope. Even when there is nothing else.
I know, that for many of us, this is how we continue to show up, with enthusiasm, love, care, and with compassion that knows no boundaries and no credit limit. We do this until some of us are stripped of our finances, hounded by debt collectors, grappling with impossible demands by our loved ones, even our clothing is gifted, back to back familial, church and cultural obligations and slowly but surely, we run out of options.
Aisea? Why do we do it?
In 2024, the brilliant young Sefa Enari from Samoa fronted a media awareness campaign about pollution where he exclaims in angst “ Aiseaaaaa?” “Why?”
Why do we continue to do it? That was how I felt, as I read the rest of the financial literacy report. Why?
Why do we make life so hard for ourselves sometimes?
Why can’t we borrow some of that palagi people vibe and say “No” to the demand for money for our aunty’s uncle’s second cousin’s nephew’s funeral?
Why can’t we have more light meals and less mammoth ulo sapasuis at the beach to feed the masses?
How did we miss the memo on living frugally and within our means?
As I pondered these Why's, I felt the burn of the sun on my chubby belly and it triggered my thoughts of what else I should be doing on my back, or on my knees to pay them bills (like praying of course).
But think about it.... what have we had to do to make ends meet for our families? What sacrifices are we making to bring joy to our loved ones this season? Is it possible to just celebrate in a simpler manner? Is it possible to just decline some cultural obligations every now and then? I think about this especially in this busy season and of the societal expectations heaved on many. In the sector I work in, I witness the sheer desperation of people who are just trying to make it through and it is cause for concern.
Unsolicited pupenty financial and life advice
So as the year comes to an end, and in light of that report finding about the need for equitable access to financial advice and resources. Here you go, I want to gently whisper sweet everythings into your souls, in a way that you never asked for, so that you can make it through the season with your sanity, sensible spend and your penti intact.
How to survive the Pupenti Christmas season and come through to the new year with your dignity intact.
1: Be kind to yourself: It's been a tough year and you need to give yourself grace. If this means taking time out from your cultural and church obligations. Do it, and focus on the most important Why’s in your life.
2: Drink water and take your medication. I borrow this simple advice from my nurse sister, who reminds us that these basics can save your life.
3: Get some sleep. Ok, I'm preaching on this one because I don't sleep till midnight and then wake up annoyed. But yes, your brain needs sleep in order to do it's best for your silly self. Turn off that phone and get some rest.
4: Get off social media or take breaks. Follow my lead and deactivate every few days and then realize your whole network is on messenger and then go right back like the toxic relationships in my life. Go on, do better than me.
5. Do fun free things with your broke friends. Just this week, some of our mom friends met at 6am to do a walk up Maungakiekie. It gave me sanity and a great way to sober up. Laughter and spilling tea together is free. Give it a go.
6: Connection: Getting amongst nature is free, so take your loved ones to a beach or bush and leave them there if they're not behaving.
7: More thrifting, less grifting: There are many op shops that have weird and wonderful treasures you can score for your loved ones or for yourself this season.
8: Celebrating what’s good in your hood: Seek out what’s happening in your neighbourhood and enjoy the season for free especially with your children.
9: Manage your expectations: If you have high expectations and goals fluffed with grandeur, then sis, perhaps lower it to match your bank account balance. Let go of perfection and expensive gifts. Don’t overdo activities but instead, focus on what is most important to you and your loved ones.
10: Set boundaries to avoid over-commitment. I know this is a controversial one for many of us but think about the consequences. Without boundaries, many of us struggle to cope and this has domino effects on our relationships, finances, health and wellbeing and many other aspects of our lives.
11: Ku’u le fia lelei: Calm down on the people-pleasing. Period.
12: Avoid comparisons: I get that this is harder today with social media being so prominent in our lives. Remember, what’s on social media is often unrealistic and filtered content and much of it removed from reality. Ignore it.
13: If you're not having a lavish Christmas or holiday season but have smart ways to celebrate on a budget or freely, share that goodness so others can also celebrate without the financial burden. Then yes please, post that goodness up and hashtag it #pupentiholidays.
As I roll up my fala lilii for another year, I wish you all a calm, stress-free,chill and love-filled punpenti season.